Be a better negotiator: 5 ways to make a more compelling argument

Negotiating isn’t easy and at times it can be downright unpleasant, a reason many just plain don’t bother with it. However, being a good negotiator is a crucial skill for the modern gentleman, one that’s fulfilling on a number of levels – but where to start?

We’ve come up with 5 guidelines we think will arm you in the art of negotiation and allow you to make consistently more compelling arguments – here they are…

– Find your leverage. Before you sit down it goes without saying that you should have done your homework, it’s one point that every advice piece on this subject agrees on. However, merely doing research isn’t enough to provide an edge, you have to be strategic, finding your points of leverage should be the goal

If you’re the seller (you make a product, or you are the product) – make sure you’ve scanned the market to see what the going rate for your particular product is, look into the details to understand your buyers perspective, see what competitors are offering and asking. Then go one step further and identify your point of difference, your unique trait(s) that make your proposition so compelling. In the work place that could be your background or experience, your proven track record or secondary skills that aren’t required but enable you to perform the job better or differently than other candidates

If you’re the buyer – again, do your research to see what’s out there, how much it costs, what features or benefits it has vs. what similar products are offering and, of those, which are nice to have vs. those you need to have. There’s a wealth of consumer generated reviews you can draw from to help this process and a quick 10 minute review can make all the difference if you’re looking to barter. A great example here is the emergence of Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime and the leverage that now gives cable consumers to negotiate their bills – an important note here is not to exploit or abuse this emerging leverage, or to bluff and threaten. We recently negotiated $40 a month of our cable bill by using the tips discussed here but also by acknowledging that we’re live sports fans (a huge strength of cable) while clearly articulating how much that was and wasn’t worth to us based on the streaming options we had available

– Think about the bigger picture. It’s easy to get bogged down in the details when the numbers aren’t quite where you want them to be. Something costs a bit more than you expected or would like to pay, they’re not offering you quite what you think you’re worth. Thinking about the bigger picture provides you with options, given appropriate foresight it allows you to give the impression you’re making concessions, when in reality you’re making exchanges

For example, when discussing a new job or promotion, thinking beyond the salary (with or without bonus) can allow you to explore the broader work/life balance – consider the whole package – health care (for you and family/significant others), 401k match, suggesting a budget for professional training/career advancement, flex schedule or location can all be discussed. The moral being that the broader and bigger you think, the more room for negotiation you have

 – Keep calm and carry on  listening. It’s important to remember that there’s no place for your emotions when you’re negotiating – by all means have a think about theirs and how you can develop a strategy around that – but keep yours out of it. Losing your cool is essentially conceding the argument regardless of whether you’re being the more reasonable of the the parties. Taking time out to understand their situation beforehand and listening throughout are ways to manage these emotions as it’s important to retain a level of relatability throughout.

Follow the 70/30 rule (let them do 70% of the talking while you carry the other 30%) and take a genuine interest in their side of the argument, it will help both of you make sense of it all. Silence is a powerful tool, worst case it shows them you are considering their point of view versus blurting out objections instantaneously. Best case it let’s them know you’ve made your case, you stand by it and they need to come meet you at the point of reason

– Search for a mutually beneficial outcome. We’ve seen a lot of advice that suggests that the true art of negotiation is about being steadfast, fearless and unwavering in your goal to get what you want. That’s great in theory, but negotiation is about practicality

As we mention in the point prior, before you sit down (and during the conversation) take some time to see it through the eyes of the other party. It’s human nature to respond favorably to empathy, if they see you’re aware of their needs they’re far more likely to make concessions around your needs where they can

This approach is also more likely beneficial in the long run, bear in mind (particularly when thinking about your career) that this negotiation probably won’t be your last – the next time you sit down at the table you can be sure that your counterpart will be cognizant of how things went last time around – aren’t you glad you kept your cool, saw his point of view and found the win/win last time around?

– Know when to walk away. As with all things in life, there are some negotiations that just can’t be resolved, situations where the two parties interests are too far removed from one another, in direct conflict or just generally not moving anywhere close to the right direction. Recognizing this, accepting it gracefully and moving on is a difficult skill to master but one that will serve you well. If the first 4 points on this list don’t seem to be bringing you any closer to a resolution it’s probably time to implement this step

Keep these 5 points in mind for your next negotiation, as with anything mastery comes with practice!